UPDATE: 14 September 2001 - Given the responses I've received to this, I've clarified and updated my thoughts on the events of the past week, and a few other things. Click here to view this piece of rambling. :-)

Yesterday, Tuesday 11 September 2001 will be a day we will never forget. How will the events of that day be recorded in the history books for all time to see? That is, how will Tuesday 11 September 2001 be remembered?

But to me, the more important question is, how will our reactions be remembered?

Last night I watched President Bush talk about how evil (dramatic pause) has "filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness and a quiet, unyielding anger." He flexed the military and governmental muscle, he mentioned how he would not discriminate between "the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them." He asked for our prayers, he invoked Psalm 23... take comfort, for God is on our side. God bless America.

Then I saw Newt Gingrich suggesting the President call a Joint Session of Congress and call for a Declaration of War against Terrorists and Those Who Harbor Them.

My heart sank.

What are we getting ourselves into? Or perhaps... what is the President and Congress getting us -- the innocent citizens -- into?

All day long we pain and suffer due to violence... gang wars, murders, shootings, domestic violence.... just turn on the evening (so-called) news. Haven't we learned that violence begets violence? And once someone does something, well... someone else has to top it. It's going to get worse. If yesterday was unimaginable, what's next? I look back at the events of the past 10 years, the past 20 years, the past 60. Heck, even think through all recorded time.

Violence. It just grows. It always gets worse. It will always be tragic, painful, and we will always seek to end the violence... we always seek peace.

But where does the violence end? What's the is the means to peace? More violence? When does it end?

How can you find peace? You're too busy making war.

This is truly a dramatic test of what it means to be an American. Of what it means to be Free (in all senses of the word, beer and speech).

If we go to war, we'll only be locked down more... be it through legislation limiting what we can do, military necessity (Amendment III), or just through sheer fear for our lives and we lock ourselves in our homes cause we don't know what else to do.

That is not the Land of the Free, the Home of the Brave.

If we want peace... like the song goes, it must begin with me. I want peace. I don't want to fight any more. I'm done.

I know one person can make a difference. For further evidence, see yesterday. Whomever is behind all that, his or her voice will echo through time.

So what's next? The USA responds by bombing some country (and if it's our own?)... perhaps killing the intended target, but likely also bringing injury to many innocents caught in the crossfire. At the root of it all, there's no difference between the two actions. Again, review the past 10 years.

And maybe God is with the USA, but yesterday someone smote our right cheek, aren't we to turn the other also? The coat was ripped from our backs, are we not to give them our cloaks as well? Aren't we supposed to Love our enemies? Maybe President Bush needs to reread Jesus' Sermon on the Mount.

Honestly, I'm terrified of what's about to unfold as today progresses.

But, it begins with me. I want peace. I'm tired of fighting. I am sending copies of this to my Congressman, my Senators, my President, my "leaders", my friends, my family. A copy of this is posted on my web site. I don't expect to change anyone's behavior, other than my own.

This is how I -- one of the innocent citizens -- feels about all this.

If I'm going to be remembered, I want to be remembered for being a peaceful man, not a violent one.